Copyright © 2005 Martin Newell
Pepys 0.1 Blogware © Steve Dix
That's right, it's my new job: Nurse Whisperer. If you have a nurse that's traumatised or not behaving right, just send her over to my ranch and after a while, I'll reluctantly consent to see her. I've had several decades of experience with wild nurses and after a while they always come round. Even if you live a long way away, if you've got a troubled nurse just drive her over here in a good strong nurse-trailer and after a while of letting her run around, I'll get her used to wearing a halter, then before you know where you are, she'll be happily cantering around your bed again, giving you blanket baths and enemas and taking your temperature, like she never even heard of the phrases ' BUPA pay-scales' or 'industrial action.' Hooray for common sense!
Incidentally, a great poetry gig for Poetry Wivenhoe, yestereen, with Roz Hall and Jude Simpson. People stacked up down the staircase trying to get in. All of this without any Arts Council funding or interference. See. It can be done. All you've got to do is make sure that your poets know how to rhyme, play a bit of music, tell a few gags and don't get too miserable on the job. People don't like serious-beard, po-faced, wretchedly obscure poetry. As soon at the chrome domes down in Oxbridge realise that and f*** off out of it, perhaps we'll all be better off.
LET'S MAKE POETRY HISTORY in 2009!
PS. Jude Simpson has a MySpace. Go and find it and check out Track 4 "Let's Make A Baby"
L-R Roz Hall, Martin and Jude Simpson